I first heard this story from Cousin Heather who wasn't sure if she had the details correct. It was so fantastic that I wrote to Uncle Bill and asked him if these things were true. He confirmed her story nearly word for word. I laughed till I cried on this one!
Bill & Di, true story, not exaggerated. I'd just got home from work all dirty but had errands to run. Changed to new jeans. B.J. told me the jeans had cost $15. Now, if pants cost that much, I at least want everyone to know they are new, so big paper tag was left on hip pocket. My first shopping stop was TG&Y, where B.J. had bought the pants.
Surveillance, high up behind plate-glass windows, spotted me leaving the store. The cash register gal also reported me. They ran me down in the parking lot and asked politely if I would come back into the store. "Sure thing!" said obliging Bill, "What's up?"
They ushered me to the surveillance room and made me wait until the police came. Police? My mind raced and thought about the prominent tag on my hip pocket, my first clue what this was all about. With a cop present, I was questioned. Were my real pants worn underneath the stolen ones? (no) I was asked to drop my britches to prove it. I protested that I didn't wear underwear and ask the female clerk to turn her back while I mooned everyone else. There wasn't anything to say. I stood there bare ass while they guessed I'd hidden my old pants somewhere in the store. I was detained while about six employees searched the store high and low. Had to ask if I could buckle my jeans back on so the girl could turn around (I was finally allowed to do so).
They cut me loose, still thinking I was a very clever criminal. It was too late to do the rest of my errands. I never felt bad about this nor held a grudge because the unusual experience was worth it.
the other Bill