Vicar Les Paulson, Bill, and Best Man Russell

THE HITCHIN' SUIT
by Bill Wheat

Nov. 4, 1999 — Tonight we went for a suit fitting with Russel (best man) and his wife Terresa.  After pricing the rental suits, It became obvious that we could buy suits at about the same cost.  So after looking through some stores at the mall, we found a good deal on a couple suits, thus the battle was almost over . . . or was it ?

I was called to be fitted first by a courteous young man.  His pleasant aire soon left him though as he measured my belly.  He switched from measuring me to frantically looking through suits; back and forth, back and forth.  His professional eyes never wavered from the suits he was looking through except to gaze again at my ample belly.  Time after time he returned with an article of clothing for me to try on, but alas, his eyes became wilder and wilder.  He repeatedly assured us that the store down aways was a much nicer place to shop, but we believed in this young man and were determined to give him our business.

I must have been fitted for an hour with enough suits to cloth a small army.  The pile of rejected sizes was 3 meters high.  I never did really understand the details of the final suit arrangement.  After spending 30 minutes on the phone, he worked out a way to put this with that and order the other and, with major tailoring, I should have a wearable suit.  I had no idea a fitting could be so complicated!

Next it was Russel's turn to be fitted.  Every thing he tried on fit the first time and he was done in just under three minutes.